Smart-Dating - get smart, get dating! Smart-Dating - get smart, get dating!
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Welcome to the forums! With approx two thousand postings a week to our forums - they're a lively place for chat.  The golden rule is to choose the appropriate forum for your posting! See what is appropriate for each forum and general rules/etiquette at the bottom of this page.

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For general announcements and postings
The Saloon

A place with (more) freedom of expression.
Smart Dating

Dating - and how to make the most of it.
In Site

Your ideas and suggestions about the site
Debating Chamber

Discussion without the chitchat.  
The Lounge

A civilised place - nice people, nice chat.
Frank Feedback
Seek/Give frank feedback/advice.     
Relationship Stuff

Share your insight on relationship stuff and air your views.

Post problems here - other members will try to help you.
Trivial Pursuits

Jokes, trivia, small talk and other such stuff.





Forum Guidelines - what is appropriate in each forum

Noticeboard - For general announcements and posting
More for 'notices' than debate. E.g. "I'm organising an event...",  "Have you seen this great website"..

The Lounge - A civilised place - nice people, nice chat
This should be a generally friendly environment with good manners. Not the place for heated debate or strong personal criticism.

The Saloon A place with (more) freedom of expression.
This means more freedom of expression than 'The Lounge'. Good for lively debate. You can air fairly robust views here and personal criticism is OK but be prepared to receive criticism back (see the general rule on no downright nastiness). Being controversial or winding up other members is OK (within reason). However, if you are an annoyance to many members we may decide to 'vote you out'. .  

Smart Dating Dating - and how to make the most of it..
Get smart - get dating! Focusing specifically on the practicalities of meeting people and dating. Where to go to meet more of the right people. What to say/not say. Be your own personal matchmaker - match up your friends through this forum! Relationship guru Mary Balfour (see will drop into this forum from time to time.

Relationship Stuff Share your insight on relationship stuff and air your views.
Men are from Mars, women are from Kensington ... this forum is for general chat/debate about Man/Woman relationship things.

Happy Endings We post some of our happy endings here
Every week we get emails in about happy endings. This forum is more for you to look at and be encouraged. However, you are free to post your own happy endings stories (for you or your friends here)

In Site Share your ideas and feedback about the site + suggest new features
Not Tech Support. This is for suggested improvements to the site. Also if you want to share advice on the 'Best Way to do something (e.g. do a search) 

Support Post problems here - other members will try to help you.
As the name says. We'd be greatly obliged if you tried to help each other before emailing loveandfriends admin.. 90%+ of our emails are down to problems at the member's end (browser, internet connection, etc) or members not knowing how to use features of the site (which other members are using fine). We also get emails where problems where members seek our 'expert advice' on some dating matter. We do our best to help with these - but we are no relationship experts - other members of the site may well have more experience and wisdom than us admin staff. 

Frank Feedback Seek/give frank feedback/advice
If you want to know what people really think (rather than hear the polite/tactful response) then consider making a posting here. Please note that Frank Feedback is only for people who make postings in this forum i.e. this forum is not for you to unilaterally decide to give frank feedback about another member who has not posted to this forum. Givers of frank feedback take note - other people may give you some very frank feedback once you've made a posting. Anyone that makes  

Trivial Pursuits Jokes, trivia, small talk and other such stuff
Just pay attention to the general guidelines below about no downright crudeness...

Forum Guidelines - general rules of etiquette

Choose the appropriate forum! Some forums are more liberal than others. Please read full forum descriptions.

Risqué is OK but crude is taboo. No crude swearwords, etc.  Help keep loveandfriends a sleaze free zone.

No downright nastiness. Strong debate and personal feedback/critique is OK in some forums. However, no downright nastiness in any forum (racism, libel, etc.) 

Loveandfriends Admin are the arbiters. Subjective, though this is Loveandfriends admin is the arbiter of what is acceptable/unacceptable. These forums are not a place where you have the right to unlimited free speech. Neither are they a cosy world where we are responsible for protecting you from anything that might offend you.

Just like a pub landlord, we do our best to provide a good environment. However, we do not want to have to spend vast amounts of time policing the system or justifying via personal email every decision we make. We want you to enjoy the forums with minimal intervention from us. We may bend the rules a little if someone on the grounds of humour e.g. if Billy Connolly posted something with a swearword in 'The Lounge'  we probably wouldn't ban him. 

You are welcome to disagree with our decisions and encourage you to post your feedback in the forums (as opposed to private email to us). We want to spend our time improving the site.

Penalties. We ban (temporarily or permanently) members that abuse the system. Thankfully this is rare. Ultimately - it's our decision. However, we may well put certain matters open to voting amongst forum members e.g. "Should we ban member X for 2 weeks because they are being a real annoyance in the forums." nb the 'Terms and Conditions' which all members agree to before joining give us the legal right to terminate anyone's membership at our sole discretion with no refund who operates contrary to the spirit of loveandfriends. We have only had to do this 5 times in 3 years. 

If you see anything that offends you please email


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